A Christmas crash out…
Dday was in March. Found out about multiple EAs. H swore there was nothing more. I gave him every opportunity to be transparent and tell me everything. Maybe if he had, then we wouldn’t be in this position now, or maybe the separation would have happened then.
Unfortunately, Sunday I found out that he has been lying, weird. There were PAs, in fact, there were many. I am so mad. Friends, friends of friends, randoms. People knew. He bragged about them to his Buddies. I cannot stay with him any longer. I would be disrespecting myself, now knowing what I know. We decided that we would get through Christmas, but then today he was hugging me and making sexual comments and I unraveled. He had the audacity to say to me tonight "ya, okay, I hooked up with a couple chicks… I would never do that now". I cannot explain the color of red I saw in that moment. Thankfully I kept my grace. I told him I am moving out with our child. That I cannot be with someone who loves like he does. I’m mad that he has wasted, yet another year of my life. I’m mad that so many people knew. I’m also so freaking mad at myself that I’ve put up with this for so long. I knew, I didn’t accept the thought, but deep down, I knew. I believed him. I trusted him, even though I shouldn’t have. I don’t believe he has remorse, I believe he is upset because he got caught and is now having to deal with the consequences. So anyways, I have decided that, for my sanity and to heal, I have to move out and get out of the cycle.
