Me: FBS 32
Him: FWS 31 (IdiotCoffee36)
DDay: Nov. 26, 2015
Reconciled: Dec. 2019

I didn’t even notice when DDay anniversary

It's been a very long time since I've posted here, and I'm honestly only doing so because, as the title says, I completely forgot about the anniversary of DDay. I didn't think that would ever happen; I found out on Thanksgiving in 2015. But this past Thanksgiving came and went and I didn't think about DDay at all. I hardly think about it now, and it doesn't burn or ache anymore.

In the 9 years since DDay happened, a lot has changed. A lot of people were suggesting I leave, as we weren't married and had no kids. I'm glad I didn't, even though it was hard. WS and I reconciled fully by December 2019. We got married in September 2020, and it has been a great marriage so far. We occasionally fight, but we're able to actually communicate now. We are both still in IC for our own sakes.

Tried for kids for a year, no luck, and I decided to get my health in order. I got the gastric bypass, went back to school for my undergrad, and by the time WS decided to also get the gastric bypass, I got permission from my surgeon to get pregnant. We found out we were going to have a baby the day after WS's 30th bday.

It was a low-risk pregnancy, and WS was attentive, loving, wonderful. Everything kind of got upturned when my water broke early (not even 30 weeks pregnant). Things got worse when our son was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect that would require open heart surgery. We got that diagnosis two days before he was born, and we spent the next 8 weeks visiting the NICU.

WS was my rock during this time. PPD hit me terribly. Our son's circumstances had us full of anxiety and terror. I couldn't have asked for a better life partner to weather such a devastating storm with me.

Our son had open heart surgery at 8 weeks old and finally came home 3 weeks later. He had feeding issues that we've had to overcome, but he is the light of our lives. Watching my husband be such a great dad brings me peace. Despite everything, we managed to build a beautiful family, and I feel loved and respected. There's no room here for the ghost of DDay.

It feels incredible, to be on the other side of such terrible pain and devastation. Sometimes the only way out is through.

6 comments posted: Tuesday, February 25th, 2025