Pretty sure my wife is having an affair

A little background on us first-
We have been happily married 25 years, and we have 2 daughters who are 22 and 24. The youngest just moved out, so
we are officially empty nesters. My wife took this kind of hard. Plus, she turns 50 in April, which is also
hitting her hard. She used to always work remotely, but started a job in November where she has to drive into
work every day. Her job is in a very much male-dominated profession.

Anyhow, there has been several questionable things that have happened lately that make me think she might be
cheating. I'll give you a few for instance. Like, she started going to bed before me now and she brings her phone
with her. The other night I went into our room like 5 minutes after her, and she was typing something, but then
deleted the screen as soon as she saw me. She said she was shopping online of course. Why go to the bedroom early
to do that, right? My wife comes home an hour and a half late from work 2 days a week now - she says they offered a
yoga class at her job (something she has never had interest in before). A month or so ago when she came home late,
I happened to be taking the garbage out to the street as she arrived. I realized on her late nights, she drives
down our street from the opposite way from where her route from the office would take her. Okay. There are just so
many little things like that.
I won't get into details here, but my wife has also started doing different things in bed with me when we are intimate,
things she never used to do with me. Oh - I was gone over a Saturday night recently, and when I came home my wife was
washing our sheets - even though we just did that the day before. She said she spilled something on them. Okay.

Here is the issue though...I know my wife would never leave our family and our home for a guy she is having a fling
with. Plus, a divorce would cost her a lot of money since she makes quite a bit more than me, and our home is
completely paid off. And honestly, before the holidays she was SO moody and crabby. But now she seems genuinely
happy again.

I will admit, I have not been a good husband when it comes to sex. And I realize she has needs.
This will sound crazy, but when we ARE intimate now, it is like I try harder, and I am more attentive to her needs
since I have "competition"? I will not say it is a turn on to think about another man being in my bed, but we are
having more sex than we used to have, and we seem closer now as a couple than we have in years.
Could being cheated on ever be a good thing?

I guess my options are A - confront her and cause drama if I am wrong. B- confront her and cause drama if I am right.
Or C - just let this play out and eventually it will end.

28 comments posted: Saturday, March 1st, 2025