We don't know the truth of your situation. But I'm going to offer a different perspective for you to include in the mix.
Have you seen Othello? Tosca? They are fictional characters, but it is a real thing that some people are so wired to see betrayal that they see it where it doesn't exist.
If he is like that, he might have a definition of betrayal that is so far from standard that you couldn't have known that some of the things you were doing were crossing it or triggering it. If you had been aware of that when you were first dating or first married, you would have known to behave in a way that would leave absolutely no room for doubt, out of respect for his . . . I'm not sure what to call it . . disposition?
If what you wrote is true, I think it was not right to hide, but I can understand. If you know you didn't do anything wrong, but he's acting really weird about it, I can see how you might avoid talking about it or deflect. If he said (for example) "you didn't text on the weekend, right? Not the WEEKEND?" you might mutter something, get out of there, and avoid talking about texting because you did text on the weekend, you know it wasn't a big deal, why argue, and clearly he's just too tired or getting sick or something. It's not right, but it's understandable and, I think, different from hiding something that you know is wrong because you don't want to be found out.
I can also see how confusing this might be to you, if what you are saying is true. You know that you didn't do anything wrong. You know that the interactions you had were friendly and nothing more. But here he is having a huge reaction in front of you and it's not getting better. It's not exactly gaslighting, because he believes it, but it would for sure be confusing to the point that you start to doubt yourself and you're not sure which way is up.
So, I can understand how you got to where you are without major character flaws that need fixing, unlike most other people on the wayward board, though it is probably good to work on not hiding or avoiding because you see that it doesn't lead to a good place.
The issue is more, what to do now? Othello was so out of his mind that he was incapable of taking in convincing evidence until after he murdered Desdemona. Going forward, you can behave in a way that leaves your husband no doubt and you can stop hiding and avoiding. But . . . will he ever believe you? Is he willing to entertain the idea that he might have an issue with an over active jealousy trigger or is he only ever going to believe the problem is you?
This is all assuming that what you wrote is true. The problem with this board is that the vast majority of the people who show up here have an ease with lying and are sometimes rather convinced of their own lies. It's possible you were engaged in interactions that most people would say were inappropriate and maybe you have lots of work to do on yourself. But it's possible you are a truthful non-wayward being accused of betrayal in a very confusing situation, so I have leaned into that possibility.
[This message edited by Pippin at 1:16 AM, Saturday, October 19th]