SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My DDay anniversary is this week. I thought I would feel better or feel more healed by now. I don't cry as much as I did a year ago. But I still feel like I've been punched in the gut when I think about the A or remember that it happened. Sometimes I feel like I will never get over it and that I'm wasting my time trying to do so. My WS hasn't been a model husband since DDay so that hasn't helped. I feel like I'm just limping along, injured but still moving forward ever so slightly. It doesn't help that I'm in education and we are doing standardized testing this month so I have LOTS of time to just think while I watch students test. :(
Does it get easier? Better? Will I always feel awful?

You're still in the early days, and healing takes time. I felt much better by year 2 but was still not healed. At about year 3, I was in a much better space and felt mostly healed. There are a few things I'm still working on, but a long way from year 1.

Easier? Better? I guess that all depends.

I filed for D because it was honestly no longer fair to both of us. My ex did the hard work and became the man I always thought he was. But I was on the lethal plain of flatness for years. I could not get thru the A. It was a deal breaker for me. So I filed and set us both "free".

Your recent thread about him accusing you of posting some online random junk is just that. Junk. That he would dare to make such an accusation and then have nothing to offer as proof... is a red flag of his mindset IMHO.

I never honestly remembered my dday, just the month. But 18 years later I remember almost every single detail leading up to my discovery, confirmation, and confronting him. It is very common to feel anxious and uneasy close to such a tramatic event in our lives. So what you are feeling is normal...in a completely FU'd way.

The first year is often full of chaos. So again, completely normal.

You have had multiple setbacks and ddays. If he is just limping along too, expecting you to get over 'it' during the separations, guess again, right? Or you may be correct, forcing you to pull the plug.

He figured out how to have an A, he can figure out how to R.

[This message edited by AnnieOakley at 9:42 PM, Wednesday, May 21st]