WontBeFooledAgai ( member #72671) posted at 1:43 PM on Wednesday, November 5th, 2025
Eric, you have the agency to decide that what you are getting from your WW is not enough for you, and to D and move on with your life. It is NOT 'too late' for you.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:52 PM on Wednesday, November 5th, 2025
I know your IC had good reason to take a break, but I expect it feels like another abandonment to you. Don't underestimate the effect on you. My reco is to call to check in - if her daughter is still ill, your IC might appreciate hearing from you.
Another reco is to seek a new IC now. Delaying is another way of not saying what you want to say.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
grubs ( member #77165) posted at 7:43 PM on Wednesday, November 5th, 2025
I have occasional low moods and one of these hit me like a train yesterday. Of course - I think I've made this clear elsewhere - I have to hide these moods from my wife, which is what I've done, more or less. It's like I'm being pushed, slowly but inexorably, towards the edge of a cliff. A complicating factor is that my wife is having a horrible time with her elderly parents at the moment. Her sister was killed in a car crash twenty years ago, and her brother died last year from cancer, so she's now the only one left. There's no way she can cope with that, and my unhappiness. So I bottle it up. What else can I do? But I can't bottle it up forever, I know that for sure.
Everyone has limits. You are doing your wife a disservice by taking away all of her agency about your angst that you have buried. It's better to share it as it occurs and allow her to live up to her part of the marriage, than to wait until you fall off that cliff and it blows up in her face.
