ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 7:07 PM on Sunday, August 31st, 2025
Maybe I misunderstood…she accused you of having an affair because you contacted a counselor?
You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.
Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts
Seeking2Forgive ( member #78819) posted at 7:46 AM on Wednesday, September 10th, 2025
I'm sorry that she has put you through this.
To me, the "rocky start" defines who your WW is. She was always going to put herself first and any commitment to you was just a convenience, probably for security. The rocky start never really ended, she just hid it from you.
I'm sorry for your health challenges. Last year I had a health scare that caused me to set aside my never-ending search for the truth for a while. I'm thankful that I'm far enough along that there weren't any triggers while in the hospital and I can't imagine having to deal with that while trying to physically heal.
Arrogance seems to be common in unrepentant WSs. Their choices make them feel powerful. They are in control. The drinking brought that out that night.
Were there any friends there that you would be comfortable talking to about that night? You could get confirmation that your recollections are accurate and you may also find clues about whether she has ever talked about such things in other venues. Tragically, friends are sometimes aware of infidelity and keep it secret.
[This message edited by Seeking2Forgive at 7:47 AM, Wednesday, September 10th]
Me: 62, BS -- Her: 61, FWS -- Dday: 11/15/03 -- Married 37 yrs -- Reconciled
Abcd89 ( member #82960) posted at 2:14 PM on Wednesday, September 10th, 2025
"you had probably said something that upset me that made me want to hurt you".
This line jumped out at me.
Is this normal for your wife. If someone upsets, angers, annoys her does she feel the need to retaliate or get her own back? Have you witnessed this in her behaviour before?
Surely if your spouse upsets you you would talk about it?
It turns out this is what my spouse is like. He never showed it publicly. But instead of speaking up about how he feels, he got his own back in a sly, calculated way. He doesn’t like confrontation. He’d prefer to pretend to be nice and agreeable while it appears he was seething and plotting.
