Brother, you need to get your head straight. You’re in freak out mode and that is quite understandable, quite…understandable.
Let us help you get it together as our predecessors helped us get it together when we were in freak out mode.
Step 1: Get into that Healing Library and read "The Tactical Primer". Cold, hard pragmatic tactics will help guide you through this nightmare.
Step 2: Lawyer. Use a lawyer as your tactical therapist.
Step 3: Control your emotions in her presence. Don’t make decisions based on emotions especially Anger and Fear.
Step 4: Get a therapist for the emotional stuff.
Step 5: Post here frequently.
Step 6: Learn what true remorse looks like.
Step 7: Begin your exit strategy and execution. Only change your steady course towards divorce after a very convincing show of remorse and proactive self improvement and therapy made in earnest. This strategy will help you avoid limbo which many Waywards try to mire you in hoping things will blow over.
Step 8: Educate yourself. Heal and improve yourself. Read: "No more Mr Nice Guy", and the other suggestions you’re going to hear about. Get to a gym and burn off some cortisol. Continue therapy. See an MD for STDs and stress. Rally your support group.
Step 9: Maintain safe distance. Employ The 180. Don’t unnecessarily antagonize. Protect yourself from harm, from false DV accusations. Protect your integrity and dignity. Protect your dignity!Protect the kids. Protect your claim to domain. Be cool 😎. Don’t beg or grovel. Don’t try and get her back. Don’t ask why (that question will allude her for years). Take the moral high ground and hold it.
Step 10: Love Yourself. You really need you during this time.
